This discussion is categorically an attempt to unravel the causes of stress, its most obvious symptoms and the measures that could be taken to limit or minimize the effects of stressful situations.

We are all familiar with the term stress and how wide and deep its roots have spread in our modern complex lives.  We are under tremendous amount of pressure all the time, and part of the reason is the kind of life style we have chosen for ourselves. Now we live in this progressive and technologically advanced society that is totally governed by the milestones, deadlines and achievements, which clearly defines working under pressure as a measure of success. Technologically, our society has made great strides but psychologically the same society is languishing due to the pressures, frustrations and unrealistic expectations that individuals have to go through or have been subjected to. Therefore, one is always running to stand in order to make their mark. Certainly, this is a situation where we have to fight on all fronts to make life more worthwhile. Therefore, this race to live, survive and thrive in the work place or in the family life has created a situation which simply is too hard to handle for some resulting into unsavory and unwanted stressful situations. Unfortunately, many of us have simply forgotten to enjoy life and it’s bounties due to everyday pressures.

There are various factors that lead to stressful life causing physical and emotional unrest forcing us to live less than full life. However, stress can be controlled and minimized if we are willing to take some concrete and effective steps, through life style and emotional changes. Broadly speaking stress is mainly caused due to:

• Work life
• Relationship issues
• Financial issues
• Children and their problems
• Emotional issues
• Self-esteem issues
• Education and upbringing
• Sickness and elderly care
• Negative self-talk
• Unreasonable competition with others
• Materialistic indulgence or the lack of it.

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These are some of the factors that lead people to frustrating situations thus triggering harmful health conditions and sometimes even severe depression. It would be wrong to say that modern men, women and children are not enjoying their lives or there is no fun time in modern setup. In reality they are having more fun time and in greater degree and proportion than before, however the ill effects of everyday pressures are also of equal proportion if not greater. As a result, you are always in this fight or flight mode. This is your body’s defense mechanism for clear or perceived danger.

This mechanism is a protection against dangerous and unexpected emergencies, when you actually are in dangerous situation, such as— when about to fall from a height, when attacked by a blow, being hit by car and similar situations. In real danger, this mechanism can be lifesaving. The stress hormones can actually save us from danger or prepare us to fight. But when you are stressed out and in panic mode all the time because of your own thought process, that time too this mechanism gets into effect sensing the danger, releasing stress hormones and instead of helping starts hurting you; the reason being the absence of real danger.  The mind fails to judge between actual danger and perceived danger.

However, the good news is stress can be managed effectively as well as the ill effect can be lessened to a manageable level if it is dealt with properly. Person suffering from stress undergoes lot of physical and emotional changes adding more to the already existing condition. These are some of the symptoms that people go through when they are suffering from stress.

• Memory problems
• Inability to concentrate
• Poor judgment
• Negativity
• Anxiety
• Moodiness
• Irritability or short temper
• Agitation and distraction
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Sense of loneliness and isolation
• Depression or unhappiness toward life in general
• Aches and pains
• Diarrhea or constipation
• Nausea, dizziness
• Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
• Frequent colds
• Eating disorder
• Sleeplessness or fatigue
• Isolation and low self esteem
• Addiction to harmful drugs, alcohol and substance abuse
• Suicidal thoughts
• Relationship issues

There is no denying the fact that all these symptoms can be life inhibiting and debilitating for anyone who experiences them. But stress is something that can be managed if we have a plan and determination to assess the extent and depth of the problem. There cannot be ‘one size fits’ all approach but should be tailored according to ones needs and degree of damage that was done due to stress.

First and foremost, we have to accept that modern life is complicated and there will be good as well as bad experiences for all of us along the way. We have to be cognizant of the fact that not all individuals are equal and therefore have very different ways of dealing with stressful situations. Stress affects people from all walks of life but not all can cope with the stress in the same manner and with the same strategy. It also depends on the person’s social and emotional health, family support system, health, life style and economic factors. Keeping that in mind these are some of the measures that can be exercised to lessen the intensity and degree of stress.

Family: Family can be a great support under stressful situations.  At the time of job loss, sickness, child birth or marital distress, a family can be a blessing. One should always count on family system to cope with the stress by talking it out with them or sharing your distress with them. Sometimes experience of the elderly can be of great help. Spending time with family, socializing with friends and sharing pleasant  memories can be very effective. Family is your greatest support system and in combination with productive life style choices can be quite fruitful in coping with stress. In such situations rekindle your relationship with your family and friends.

Meditation: Meditation has an undisputed authority while dealing with any kind of stress. Breathing techniques help relax the mind and subsequently body and the symptoms of stress. Deep breathing techniques are particularly very helpful in regulating the heart rate and blood pressure. Meditation as a healing power is well established method and has huge impact if practiced regularly in conjunction with diet and positive self talk.

Relaxation: Relaxation is by far the most effective way to deal with stress. It is harmful to be always in a panic mode. It is not uncommon to see people talking about their work life even when they are socializing. It is absurd because “you have already spent  eight to ten hours at work”, “why do you want to continue it for another four hours”, when it is absolutely unwarranted. Instead, try to break free from your work life( even if you are a president of your company or for that matter anybody) and talk about something different, that is more relaxing and entertaining with family and friends, such as music, nature, sports, movies or just your family life in general. Unless we control the stressors, stress cannot be controlled. The best way to relax is to get away from the stressors and engage in activities that can help in relaxation process such as nature walk, boating, fishing, singing, reading, spirituality and so on.

Sleep: In modern society people are getting less sleep than is actually considered   healthy. Work, technology and social media are some of reasons people are not getting enough sleep. Much of the stress of today can be tackled by sleeping well. Sound sleep is the best form of relaxation that comforts both mind and the body. Sleep can also be rejuvenating and could be quite effective in clearing the mind and the mental clutter. Sleep makes people forget their worries of the day and prepares them for the next day. It is a good idea to get at least six to eight hours of sound sleep daily to repair both mind and body from the wear and tear of daily life.

Regular exercise and healthy diet: Exercise is good for both mind and body. It keeps us bodily fit and mentally alert as well as recharged. Exercise is a fuel to the body along with healthy diet which goes a long way. Eating right kind of food such as fresh fruits, nuts, vegetables and plenty of water supplies nourishment to the cells as well as increases body’s ability to fight with the diseases. People who exercise regularly and eat healthy food have more positive outlook toward life compared to those who do not exercise and have unhealthy food habits.  Both combined can energize people and make them feel good and therefore they have less chances of falling into negative stressful territory.

Avoid stressors:  There are only two ways of coping with the stress. Either avoid the things or people who cause stress or increase your tolerance and fighting capabilities to deal with it, also known as “fight or flight” mechanism. If we prepare ourselves to deal with the stressors, it would be slightly easier to face it and overcome the stress. So many people complain about the causes of their stress but actually do not fight or flight from it and keep leading the same life, remaining under the same stress for a long period of time.

Positive self-talk: It is as important as air that we need to breath.  It’s a modern day elixir for the mind.  Its effects are miraculous if one practices it regularly.  There are skeptics, but the constructive effect of positive self-talk is one of the leading methods used by doctors, corporations, military as well as private citizens in order to get people motivated and reinforce the healing powers of positivity. Positive mind set looks at the world in more positive way and derives happiness and joy out of that. Positive people see world around them differently and that changes most of the unpleasantness of life around them.

Example:

I don’t want to fall sick. (Negative)

I want to be healthy. (Positive)

I don’t want to talk to Z. (Negative)

I like talking to M. (positive)

I don’t like cluttered home. (Negative)

I like organized home. (Positive)

These are few examples that shows how the same message can be delivered both positively and negatively. When we choose positive words, the life around us gradually starts to change. Negative self-talk is one of the biggest causes of stress.

Accepting the reality: Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to change people or things around you it seems impossible to get the desired result be it children, spouse, job, place or anyone who is directly or indirectly involved in your life. This kind of situation causes a great deal of stress to so many people. However, it is in your interest to accept the realities and make changes in your life considering all the factors around you. If you do not accept the hard facts around you, the stress will not only go out of control but can result into more severe consequences such as depression, high blood pressure, heart problems and severe mental issues. Making little changes in life goes a long way and gives ample opportunity for self-evaluation and personal self-growth. It also emphasizes the fact that life is not perfect and circumstances sometimes can be less desirable than you had initially thought, but life should not stand still because of that but must change according to your surroundings.

 Sensory experience:  Activities related to touch, smell, hear, sight can be of great help in reducing stress. However, not everybody can have same relief through sensory experiences.  All of these activities are immensely positive and can be greatly constructive in relieving stressful situations. Listening to favorite music or music of meditation, observing a beautiful natural scenery, eating your favorite food or caring for pet can have a huge positive effect on the senses of a stressed person. These activities have a calming effect on the person, especially if the concerned person used to enjoy these activities prior to the onset of stress or depression.

Aromatherapy and massage: Aromatherapy and massage both stimulate our sensory organs through smell and touch. These activities can be quite effective in relieving us from both physical as well as mental stress. Massage particularly can help reduce the physical pain of the body and aid in relaxing the muscles which tend to get stiff due to stressful circumstances. Aromatic bath or use of aromatic pillow can also help some people in getting relaxed sleep and relief from stress. Both combined together can have a sensory experience which is most relaxing and comforting for mind and body.

Rekindle personal relationships:  Most cases stress is caused due to emotional disconnection with the closest people around us.  This makes us feel lonely and left out.  Finding value in the existing relationships can be absolutely beneficial while dealing with stress. This is the most important and most emotionally satisfying way of dealing with depression. Spending quality time with your partner and starting over with them with new vigor and zeal can prove therapeutic in curing deep depression. The result could be extraordinary if the partners on the other side are equally supportive and caring. It will be counterproductive if your partner is not there to reach out to you with same enthusiasm, in order to help you deal with the situation. However, some people don’t and can’t establish connections with their partners– in that situation they can reach the support groups in the community or help lines if there are any, in order to cope with their worsening stressful conditions.

 Self-evaluation and personal self-growth:  Sometimes, self-evaluation is the key to dealing with stress. This helps us evaluate our weaknesses and strengths on various parameters such as our own sensitivities, reaction to ordinary and extra ordinary situations, work and family life. Self-evaluation also conditions us with the existing realities of life, which is crucial in dealing with the stress or depression. Personal self-growth such as hobbies and creative pursuits takes our unproductive time to a creative one thus enabling us to cope with stress in a better way. Personal self-growth can also make us feel empowered and valued which is conducive in self-realization and meaningfulness in life.

Pause: When life starts to appear unbearable and tough, one should press a pause button and gather the bits and pieces of life in order to put it back together. One should not run if they can’t even stand. There is no shame in taking into account your personal health and well being and making it a priority. Stress is very frustrating and you don’t have to keep on doing the activities that add to it, instead take a break from the very routine and try to relax or divert your energies to people, places and activities that relieves you from the monotony and drudgery of life.

Stress is very much real and affects everyone in one way or the other.  It is everyday occurrence in the lives of millions of people who suffer tremendously under its influence.  Stress is dangerous and affects people both physically and psychologically. Unchecked, stress levels can lead to series of health issues and can disrupt and damage every system and organ in the body. Unabated its effects on blood pressure, heart rate can be very dangerous. It can also suppress the body’s immune system, fertility and speed up the aging process. Long term effect of stress is deep depression and that can forever change the coping mechanism of the brain, making people more vulnerable to anxieties and emotional weaknesses.

Conclusively, it might appear gargantuan initially to deal with stress, but in reality it is not impossible to cope with it and manage it with the help of correct steps, sound family support system and one’s own personal will and character. However, there is no one strategy that can help everybody in the same way, but certainly a first and constructive step to understand, and then arrest the situation at the source. The techniques and strategies should be designed to cater to different individuals based on their personal character, and strengths as well as their personal likes and dislikes.  Stress is an emotional condition, it is not a disease, but can lead to serious diseases, and in rare cases can even be fatal. Every measure should be considered, and taken to alleviate and eliminate stressful situations, in order to achieve the fullness of life, and its purpose. (Read my article: Purpose of life)